Thursday, February 14, 2008

Kung Fu Congressman

Jesse Jackson Jr.

Well, after dumping a ton of weight, Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., (D) Illinois, has reshaped himself into a dedicated Kung Fu practitioner. According to published reports, he has a tattoo with kanji that says "mind, body spirit", and has threatened to use his skills during a congressional skirmish.
Apparently during a debate on the floor of the house, an un-named Democrat stated "Republicans can't be trusted", To which Republican Lee Terry (pictured below) of Nebraska said "shut up". Allegedly, Jackson responded with "F-U"...

Lee Terry and Jesse Jackson in their sparring gear

As Terry was making his way across the floor, he told Jackson to get out of the way, and Jackson responded by asking Terry to step outside and settle it. As reported in the Washington Post:
"The consensus in Washington is that Jackson would have whupped Terry's butt. "It would have been Bruce Lee vs. Pillsbury Dough Boy," one congressional aide told the Post."
For a slide show of Jackson, his instructor and fellow students in action, check out this slide show, it's pretty good!


Hand2Hand said...

Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!

This is what I've been saying for years!!! We need Democrats with a real fighting spirit and Jesse Jackson Jr. seems to have just what the party needs!!!

I wish more Democrats would ask their Republican counterparts if they "want to take it outside." The Republicans have behaved like thugs my entire life and the Democrats have been incredible wussies when standing up to them.

If the Democrats had more like Jackson, I might not have become an independent.

Scott said...

Take it outside? Back before the Civil War things got so real the only Congressmen not carrying a pistol in one hand and a knife in the other were the ones carrying a pistol in both hands.
And don't forget. The only real fight that we've had in this country was between the Democrats and the Republicans, and the Republicans whooped'm, 1861-1865.

The most notorious fight in the Senate.

Hand2Hand said...

I remember hearing about those times in Congress and I liked reading that wikipedia link. Thanks for passing it on.

It reminds me of my favorite saying by Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan, Kull and many others.

"A civilized man can be far more discourteous than a savage, for a civilized man can be discourteous without having his skull split open as a general rule."

Columnist Charlie Reese once wrote a semi-satirical column suggesting that legalized dueling would unclog the courts and discourage the vicious gossip and insulting behavior that are so common in modern society.

Still, I'm a little confused by your reference to a fight between Republicans and Democrats from 1861-1865. Were you referring to the Civil War?

Maybe I'm a little off on my history, but I thought it was between the Confederacy and the Union. I don't think anyone got whupped in that war. It was pretty much a battle of attrition and the Union was able to outlast the Confederacy because of their resources.

Scott said...

Despite the nonsense taught in school history books, the Civil War was fought over one thing and one thing only: Slavery. Everywhere the Union Army went they sang "John Brown's body lay a smoldering in his grave."

The Republican Party was formed and elected to do two things: End slavery and outlaw polygamy in all the states of the union.

On the only issue that mattered, the war was decisive.

Scott said...

I do think there ought to be a dueling option for people who put up an insurance bond (so the rest of us don't get stuck with the bill) and sign over all their internal organs to those who can make better use of them.

Hardly anyone has a name worth fighting for these days, maybe Martha Steward. If someone soils your name its like a no brainer to just skip down to city hall and get a new name.

Sa Bum Nim Pieschala said...

Obama reminds me of "Bruce LeRoy" from that 80's movie ... I can't remember the name ... the one that has "Kiss my Converse" in it.

Hand2Hand said...

Hey Scott,

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree on the causes of the Civil War.

I'd like to know what school you went to that actually tried to show the Civil War as more than just North=Good Guys Opposed to Slavery and South=Bad Guys Who Wanted To Keep Slaves.

That was all my public school education taught me. What little else I know about the reasons for that war were the result of a) my own research and b) attending college south of the Mason-Dixon line.

It's worth knowing that Robert E. Lee was opposed to slavery on moral grounds. Given that some southern states, particularly South Carolina, had more slaves that free whites, it's hard to imagine slavery surviving as an institution even if southern secession was successful.

Also, the average Yankee working stiff (the ones who were FORCED to fight in the war) really couldn't care about what went on in the south. They were too busy trying to make a living themselves.

If opposition to slavery were so unanimously supported by the northern states, why was it necessary to institute a draft to make sure they had enough recruits to keep the southern states from seceding?

To me, the draft was the worst thing Lincoln ever did. Our founding fathers were opposed to military conscription and by instituting this country's first draft, he set a horrible precedent for future leaders to follow.

I can also tell you, having lived in the south and in the supposedly "Liberal" northeast, I can tell you I heard the word "Nigger" a lot more up north.

Your statement of the Civil War reminds me of a humorous exchange on an episode of "The Simpsons" where Apu Nahasapeemapetalon was taking his citizenship test.

Test proctor: Can you tell me the cause of the Civil War?

Apu: Actually, there were many reasons for the war.

Test proctor: Just say "slavery."

Apu: Okay. Slavery.

Scott said...

Hi Hand-to-hand,
We could argue this for a long time and I think it would be valuable, but it is off topic.
This is not just an opinion, it is a strong conviction.
Until about ten years ago, it was very difficult to find reasonable analysis of the US Civil War. The North won the actual war, but the South won the battle of ideas after the war...essentially leaving it emotionally unresolved until recently.
Two vision clouding factors, which are now resolved, contributed to generations of false and misleading histories.
1. The Northern Moral Superiority Complex.
2. The Southern Claim of Victim-hood.

Formosa Neijia said...

This is fascinating. Please continue.