Monday, September 27, 2010

Hippies Punch Back!



Several days ago I read with interest about White House adviser David Axelrod being accused of "Hippie Punching" by a liberal Blogger. While the meaning of this criticism was self-evident, I realized that the term went so much further.

Apparently, "Hippie Punching" is considered a sport in the insulated world of spoiled Frat-Boy Republifucks.

Let's take a look at "Hippie Punching" FAQ on the website IMAO:

"HIPPIE PUNCHING FAQ

Q. Where is best to punch a hippie?
A. About the face. That's where the hippie is most annoying.

Q. What is a hippie?
A. Generally, a hippie is an annoying, useless. Actually, less than useless, as they are not happy until they prevent other people from being useful as well. In fact, Scientists have determined that the only evolutionary purpose of a hippie is for punching as a stress release for productive members of society.

Q. Are there any other uses for hippies than punching them?
A. No, there are no other uses.

Q. What are the benefits of punching hippies?
A. What aren't? It gives you exercise, increases your intelligence and sexual prowess, helps the economy, defeats terrorism, and helps orphans find families. Also, scientists say that each time you punch a hippie, they get one step closer to curing cancer."


And it goes on and on.
Well let me tell you something you punk-ass Republiturd; this hippie punches back.
I would love to see you approaching me with Hippie Punching intent. I'd be happy to tighten that wool sweater you have tied around your neck till you think your head might explode like a bloated zit.
Go ahead you preppy weasel, try and swing on me, anything that gets close enough will get dislocated.
I have broken nose after nose on you arrogant little pukes, and I don't see any reason to discontinue the practice now.
You're the type of dickhead that will frantically drive your Lexus around in circles, soiling your Brooks-Brothers suit because you won't use a public restroom let alone shit in the woods.
You and the Republifuck that spawned you will rail against the evils of Government, while you collect the public pension Daddy got as an attorney for the Federal Government.
You are the conservashit that sat lonely in your college dorm room while other guys were playing music, smoking weed and getting laid by beautiful Hippie Chicks.
Now you resent it.
You have been programed to use things up - resources, relationships, people. You think you can throw Daddy's money at your problems, but you are a miserable little snipe.
You look at simple people and their simple pleasures and you are jealous, so you hate them. You'll get drunk and punch a Hippie, but you would never be caught in a military uniform. No, no. Mommy has other plans for you.

So go ahead, take a swing at this old Hippie. I want to brush up on my pressure-point nerve-strikes. Let's dance.

12 comments:

Toldain said...

I share your feelings, but rhetorically, you're playing their game. Your getting all rigid and hard and telegraphing your intent. Use Tai Chi instead.

I'm not sure what that would look like, but I'm interested to see you try it.

Also, try to remember that, for all their whining about us being losers and sponges, we're winning the battle of ideas, slowly but surely.

Zacky Chan said...

Use Tai Chi instead?

Ah yes, I agree.

Perhaps a crack to the nose is a little too non-Tai Chi...

Instead you should try a parry and punch shot downwards on their stomach into their internal organs. I hear it changes the color of your urine.

Sean C. Ledig said...

Testify Brother DR.

And Toldain, I'm sorry, but I gotta disagree.

DR's just giving back what we've been getting for years. In my book, that's not "playing their game" or "stepping down to their level."

It's self defense.

erwan said...

Ive been taught that "repulsing the monkey" would actually be : the monkey is repulsing ... whatever tries to punch him...(and hsing-i monkey has this similar idea I guess)so whatever art you use...don't try to punch the monkey!
Loved your outburst!
Erwan

Steve Perry said...

Thing is, punching a neo-con Tea Party dweeb does them a favor -- when they look in the mirror, if you've changed their face a bit, they don't feel so awful.

Like the old saw about the sadist and masochist --

"Hit me! HIt me!"

"No ..."

joe said...

I would just like to note that there are conservatives and republicans that read and enjoy your blog. We are not (all) evil/stupid cartoon villains. I have not and never will advocate punching hippies.

I am not sure how the angry blog post reconciles with Tai Chi at least as I understand the underlying Taoist philosophy (no claim that I am an expert on it or if you even believe in the philosophy)

Good weapons are instruments of fear; all creatures hate them.
Therefore followers of Tao never use them.
The wise man prefers the left.
The man of war prefers the right.
Weapons are instruments of fear; they are not a wise man’s tools.
He uses them only when he has no choice.
Peace and quiet are dear to his heart,
And victory no cause for rejoicing.
If you rejoice in victory, then you delight in killing;
If you delight in killing, you cannot fulfill yourself… (Ch. 31)

A good soldier is not violent.
A good fighter is not angry.
A good winner is not vengeful,
A good employer is humble. (Ch. 68)
A brave and passionate man will kill or be killed.
A brave and calm man will always preserve life. (Ch. 73)

(TAO TE CHING)

My apologies but isn't the angry name calling and grouping together the mirror image of a Rush Limbaugh. The President is EVIL and out to destroy the country and bring socialism. The Republitards are EVIL and out to enforce their racist sexist homophobic god down your throat. Could it be that the other side is not evil and monolithic? Could it be that they both want the same basic things but differ on the approach to take to get them?

There is much more I would like to say but this is long enough (sorry)... Thank you for the blog and all your excellent material. Respectfully.

Dojo Rat said...

Well, I've waited a bit to see what comments trickled in.

I think I will direct my comments to Joe, who very respectfully included good words from Tao Te Ching.
I do not pretend to be a pacifist.
Daoist skills may speak of yielding, but that is not folding and caving in.
Sure, I've punched Dudes out. I've been punched too. No big Deal.
I'm talking about Frat boys who want to punch guys out just because they are not in the same social circle as the (Frat Boys) are.
That is a very shallow, fascistic mindset.
And that is not the only shallow social position these guys take. It tracks them through life.
People like me who are progressive politically are often assumed to be push-overs.
I find people who consider themselves to be progressive or on the left to be very tolerant of a wide spectrum of people.
Not so on the Right, straight through history.
So, I say, I'm not a push-over. I'm not talking about attacking anybody. I'm talking about responding to right-wing punks who want to punch Hippies.

Sean C. Ledig said...

Amen, Brother Rat!

Like you, I consider myself to quite progressive, at least socially.

As a martial artist, gun owner and regular church-goer, I probably have more conservative friends than not. We get along because we respect each other. That's the way it oughtta be.

But guys who act like common bullies like the bonehead who put out that "punch a hippy" site are not worth the trouble of attempting civil discourse. And if any of them want to take a swing at me because I don't buy into their views, then I wish them a lotta luck.

Anonymous said...

You realize that FAQ was a joke right?

Anonymous said...

HIPPIES SUCK. Take a bath, cut your hair and get a job, douchebags.

Anonymous said...

Unconscious people can't punch back. Punch hippies. Make money.

Anonymous said...

Take Tai Chi. Then use it to beat the living shit out of a hippie. win-win!